But as the afternoon and evening passed, the sun, and the wine and other drinks slowly loosened my tongue, allowing me finally to say some of the things I held inside so long."You know I always blamed you, don't you?" I whispered."You made it pretty clear honey," an anger I'd never heard before now evident in Daddy's voice."When you suddenly left I felt so abandoned," I added, tears forming in both my eyes."Christ Sam, your Mother threw me out! It wasn't like I forgot about you. Shit, I called. It bothered him when other blacks called each other that word, but he didn’t make a big deal out of it. Shauna, on the other hand, would rip the person a new asshole.“So what happened next?”Abe shook his head before he answered, “It was real weird. Shauna asked Melissa if orange was her favorite color. Melissa answered that her favorite color was green. After that, Shauna told Melissa that she would never forget what happens when you call a black person a nigger.”“I thought for sure that Shauna. I looked at him, grinned and asked, “Do you know what this note says?”He looks nervous. I guess he isn’t sure that it isn’t some kind of trick. But he must have figured it was worth the gamble. He smiled tentatively and replied, “Yes, Miss.”I stepped out from behind the door and glanced out in the hallway to see if anyone was watching. Then I stepped back, opened the door and said, “Please come in.”I heard a noise and looked around. Jo is standing in the bathroom doorway trying not to. So when VHS tapes came out, that was a godsend, and I’ve got hours and hours and hours of TV clips with lovely girls showing. Going to the cinema wasn’t straightforward either, cause if it was a Carry On film the place would be full of normal people, and then even though they had lots of girls in those films, you couldn’t always be sure how long they would be on screen. At least when I discovered the adult cinemas and could go in in my rainmac I could gawp at the screen and bare girls would be.
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